“even if every tears in the world were to pool in my small eyes, I just wish I could cry for you in your place.”
“Was that half a smile? Perhaps it was the smile that withered from inability to comprehend the world.”
“You could’ve stayed somewhere in evergreen forest under the sun, but now you are walking on the same storm-ridden path with me, through the rain…This isn’t what my heart really wanted. I didn’t become your other half so you could bear half of my misery.”
*sigh* i’m talking to an old friend i haven’t talked to for a really long time. basically i guess it got awkward after he confessed he liked me and we went on sort of 2 dates but i kind of felt weird to start something so soon since i had just been broken up with my bf at that time, maybe a few months prior, which still seemed a bit soon to me. i guess i was just really cautious and scared to start something new. i did like him though. but the thing is i messed up by avoiding him for 2 weeks after that and it ended up hurting him cuz ya know i made him feel rejected. but i was just confused at the time…..
anyways it changed our friendship after that and we eventually just stopped talking. :/ its been basically a year or longer. so now that he just messaged me out of no where it feels a little strange…… but it also made me suddenly realize how much i miss the past. I miss the friendship back then. I miss how things were. I miss a lot of things in general. *sigh* now i just feel sad.
at night is the time when i long for someone’s company the most…. but sometimes when i actually do find someone to talk to, I still feel lonely.
I feel I have less to talk about because my life is so uneventful now… when I think back on before, i’ve become less lively now. i really feel so boring. maybe that makes me feel even more lonely even when i have company.
Even though I want to put distance between strangers and myself, I can’t stand being alone.
i realize that i never show enough of myself to people. i don’t share enough about myself. i feel like no one really truly knows me. I want to change this. i wish i could….
i want people to like me for who i truly am